


All my secrets, laid bare at your feet

by thefrenchmistake



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, This killed me, gratuitous fluff, omg it's happening y'all, post 5x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29979087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrenchmistake/pseuds/thefrenchmistake
Summary: After Murdoc reveals Riley's feelings for Mac, he can't get it out of his head.OrA quick one-shot post 5x10, taking off after Riley opens the door to Mac.
Relationships: Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen, Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 104





	All my secrets, laid bare at your feet

It’s not really a surprise to find himself standing before Riley’s door.

It’s not really a surprise when she opens it.

It’s not like he can just... forget the last 24 hours that had him realize his best friend had feelings for him.

So he blurts it out right there and then, doesn’t know how to stop the words, doesn’t want to anyway.

Riley looks cornered, and Mac knows he was right.

“Why... why do you want to know ?”

“Riley.”

Resignation settles on her face, so clear and sad Mac wants to hug her.

“Come on in.”

As soon as he stands in the middle of her apartment, demanding attention

“I want to talk about it.”

“Why ?” She replies again, at a visible loss.

He doesn’t even understand how she doesn’t get it, how she could think this doesn’t matter.

“Please. I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen. And I’m not about to just... leave well enough alone.”

“You should,” she grumbles, but then she sits in the armchair, curled up on herself.

“Go ahead then. What do you want to know ?”

“When did it start ?”

“Germany,” she shoots back.

“When ?”

“Jesus Christ,” she curses, surging to her feet. “I need alcohol for this.”

His heart beats too fast in his chest, even more so when, true to her word, she comes back and drops a bottle of what looks like tequila -because that’s gonna end well- on the coffee table, as well as two shot glasses. Mac already knows he won’t drink a drop.

She, on the other hand, starts right away, filling and throwing back a shot in a second.

“You know when,” she eventually says, after pursing lips at the alcohol induced burn. “Why are you making me say it ?”

“You were with Aubrey.”

Riley throws her head back, blinks up at the ceiling. Mac watches her.

“Why do you think we broke up after he met you ?”

That’s the kind of revelation that knocks the breath out of you and slips the rug from under your feet, but Mac grips the armrests too tight, forces himself to focus, because there’s so much more he needs to know.

“Is that what you wanted to tell me, during Quarantine ?”

Another shot filled, then emptied. She still won’t meet his gaze.

“Yes. I think. I didn’t exactly have a plan.”

“Why would you never…”

“God, Mac, I’m not a science project, ok ?” She bursts, hand tight on her shot. “You don’t need to know everything, I don’t even know everything! I thought about it,” she offers when he opens his mouth on an unbuilt sentence, “but eventually, I just saw all the damage it would do. I mean, look at us now.”

“Is that why you moved out ?”

“God, it wasn’t… it’s not like that, ok. It’s not yours, or Desi’s fault, I moved because… Because it hurt, and I didn’t want it to affect our friendship the exact fucking way it is now.”

“Did it work ?” He asks again. Now, he wants an answer instead of dwelling on what she just said, instead of thinking back on their every interaction and wondering where it all got them. Riley’s shoulders drop under an invisible weight, and he hates the idea that he put it there. Her eyes seem a bit glossy, but that could be the alcohol (God, let it be the alcohol).

“Mac, why does it matter ?” She pleads, and she sounds so desperate he almost lets her off the hook. And then she adds :

“It’s not gonna change anything, so why does it matter ?”

“Because it might.”

Riley stares. Her mouth opens and closes three times before she looks to the side, clears her throat, and looks back at him. All traces of hesitation and pleading are gone, wiped away by clear resolve.

Mac’s heart is hammering against his chest.

“It didn’t work.”

Apparently unable to hold his gaze any longer, she looks down at her knees, but he can’t stop watching her, thinking _God, how did I miss it ?_

“I.... I tried, but it...” she huffs. “It just didn’t work.”

“Feelings aren’t a switch Riles. You can’t just shut them off.”

“I should though.”

It hurts, to see her being so reluctant about this, but he hasn’t really given her any reason not to be, has he ?

Mac stands up. Riley watches him, face unreadable.

There are a lot of things he wants to do right now, the first one being walking forward and kissing her until they both forget their names and the stupid things he did and how ignorant he has been about all this.

But that is not how things work.

The diamond ring is still burning a hole in his pocket.

“Thank you. For telling me.”

There is no answer on her part, so Mac turns around and walks to the door. When he has crossed it and is slowly closing it behind him, he can’t help but glance back; Riley has her face in her hands.

He wonders if this was all an enormous, gigantic mistake.

Desi takes one long look at him and sighs. Mac supposes he should be thankful for her ability to read him like an open book, yet all he feels is guilt (and an ounce of relief, of finally understanding that things went all around).

The ring lays on the table between them, him sitting in her uncomfortable wooden kitchen chairs, and her standing up, hands laid on the back of another chair. The diamond reflects the lights of her lamps in the room, and he wonders, suddenly, how he could have been so stupid about everything, about all the people in his life -his childhood friend during quarantine, his best friend for who knows how long, and his girlfriend for… a while now.

“It wasn’t a good idea, Mac,” Desi states, an analytical evidence.

A weak laugh breaches his lips, dying down as quick as it was born. He sighs. The ring stares at him harder than Desi.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.”

“Look at us,” she chuckles humorlessly, eyes cast down on the table. “We’re always making decisions on our own, never talking things through. I mean, even today. All I’ve wanted to do was to forget it ever happened, like with Codex, like with a lot of things. But... But it doesn’t work like that.”

She takes a deep breath, looks him dead in the eye.

“We don’t work like that.”

Although he knew that, has come to her apartment exactly to tell her that, it still hurts to have it said out loud. It still hurts to nod in agreement, and it hurts when Desi lays her ring-less hand above his, so carefully neutral.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Desi shakes her head.

“It’s not your fault. We pushed and pushed, but... but a relationship isn’t built on clean slates, writing on them and clearing them again. That’s just not healthy.”

“I’m sorry about the ring. And about today. And.... and about the way I feel.”

Desi’s smile is small and sad, but it is so honest it’s like a punch to the stomach.

“You mean Riley.”

There’s no need to answer. The fact alone that he went to Riley first speaks for itself, and the fact that he is here now, looking down at the ring and not in her eyes. Still, Desi doesn’t chase him out, and doesn’t take offense, which is a testimony of how good a person she is.

“I can’t say I’m that surprised,” she says instead, shocking him to no end. “And honestly, I’m… I’m glad this happened now, before you… proposed. God, I still can’t believe you were going to _propose_ !”

The amused tilt of her voice is all he needs to look up. Met with a smile, he squeezes her hand.

“You’re amazing, Desi. I’m sorry about everything. And I hope… I hope we can still be friends.”

It sounds so stupid, Mac realizes, so childish, but it’s the truth. This woman is a big part of his life, and a close friend, a part of the team that has become his family. She is fierce and loyal and he wouldn’t want to give her up, wants to be selfish and have it all.

“It’ll take time Mac. It’ll take time, but I think that yes, we can be friends.”

After that, there’s not much left to say, or do. Desi walks him back to the door, hands him the ring with a wry smile, waiting for him to pocket it before saying :

“I’m gonna be okay.”

He knows that; Desi doesn’t need anyone, least of all him. Nevertheless, it feels good to hear.

“And… if you want to tell Riley and… Well, I’ll be okay with that, too.”

Mac wraps her in a hesitant hug, murmuring a faint “Thanks” in her ear.

It’s with a head full of thoughts and a heart oddly heavy that he leaves.

He hasn’t talked to Riley in two days.

He knows it’s probably cruel, given what he made her tell him that evening, but he can’t help it. Mac needs time. He needs to think things through instead of rushing into them like all his past relationships, like his -thankfully ruined- proposal.

Weirdly enough, there is no thought of Desi lingering; a sentiment of guilt, sure, but mainly his brain is struggling to think of something other than Riley. Those two days are spent in a mixture of acceptance, denial, and fear. It’s gotten difficult to sleep, if only for the dreams her gets. It’s gotten infernal to think, too, to remember the way she looked in her dress at Olvera’s daughter’s wedding, how panicked he was when she was poisoned. But most of all he remembers of all the instances where Riley’s quick thinking impressed him and spurred this odd, buzzing feeling in his stomach that wasn’t unlike the feeling he gets when she herself is impressed by his inventions.

It just takes a bit of time, to understand why there’s no one else he’d rather have at his side, why Riley was and is the only one he’d choose every time to step into hell. It takes a bit of time, and courage, and annoyance at himself, to define the feeling he has now, almost as suffocating as the words.

He _loves_ her. And it is so different from how he feels -has felt- about Desi that Mac wonders how he hasn’t seen it before.

It’s preposterous to be this unable when it comes to feelings.

But that’s over now.

Now Mac knows. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do anything about it.

In an almost perfect repetition of that evening, he knocks on her door (there’s no hesitation this time).

She doesn’t seem surprised.

She doesn’t seem happy, either. In fact, her face is carefully blank, even as she lets him in. They don’t sit.

They just size each other up, like it’s a battle, except all Mac wants to do is kiss her, is tell her everything he can’t really find words for. He gives himself a minute to take in the curls framing her face, the way her hair is completely let down like it rarely is at work anymore, how her lips are pressed in a tight line, how her eyes are daring, how her posture is prepared for a fight. That’s not what he came here for.

“In Germany.”

Riley draws an abrupt breath, already shaking her head, and so he repeats with more strength.

“In Germany, I was jealous. Of Aubrey, because… well, for the obvious, but also because you didn’t tell him about us, because he put a smile on your face and I had never seen you smile like this at someone else.”

“Mac…”

“With Codex,” he pushes on, needing to say all he can before she stops him or words eventually fail him, “you were the one who trusted me. You were… You were the only one I wanted by my side, and then all of a sudden you were, and God, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.”

His legs itch to take a step forward, just one, just to be closer, but if he obeys he won’t stop in his tracks and there are still plenty realizations he wants to share. Riley doesn’t look away, mouth a bit parted like to better breathe.

“And when that missile was heading straight for us, when you kept _staying_ , despite everything, and… I took your hand and I thought this is it. I felt so guilty that I brought you into this, but at the same time I just felt… relieved. Glad that you were the one with me. And I would have been happy to go that way.”

Mac isn’t sure he should say the next part, isn’t sure it won’t break them both down. But together they can face anything, their track record has proven that.

“After… After Jack,” he tentatively begins past the lump in his throat, “you were….I don’t even know how to describe it, how important you were, how important you _are_.”

“I know,” she replies, so soft he barely hears it over the furious thundering in his ribcage. Her arms are still crossed over her chest, but the tension seems to have been drained from her.

“Riles, you’re my best friend, and if you want to forget all this happened… I can’t promise I’ll just forget, but I’ll do my best. But if you want to try this, if you think it’s worth a shot, then I’m all in. God, I’m….”

“Mac.”

In a gesture that is too hesitant to be Riley’s, she takes two steps forward. The distance becomes nothing, suddenly, and he is aware of her body so close to his like he never was before. How many times have they stood so close to each other, how many times have they touched without it having any of the significance it holds now ? How many times has he spurred something in her, without knowing it ?

Mac only becomes aware that his hands are in tight fists when she brushes his knuckles with hers.

Her eyes are incredibly dark; her lashes long even without her usual makeup. Mac is buzzing.

“Are you… Can I kiss you ?”

Hesitant, so hesitant, why is Riley so hesitant tonight ? She should never be like that with him, he decides.

At her scrutinizing look, Mac nods fervently.

The heat from the furious pulsing in his throat is nothing compared to her lips on his.

After the two days he spent paddling in self-doubt, Mac doesn’t bother to hold back. The only answer he needs to all the questions that plagued him is the press of Riley’s mouth, and then the breath that passes between them just before he cups her face and _really_ kisses her.

It goes from uncertain to heated in the span of a second, and then it’s like they can’t stop. Having Riley’s nails biting his neck, her tongue taking advantage of his parted lips, her body pressing against his like a second skin, is the last seconds of a mission; when their success is still uncertain, heavy fire ringing in their ears, satisfaction and frenzy and just a bit of fear taking them at the throat.

Maybe that’s why it feels they’re running out of time. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t wait, grips her waist and pushes her backwards without breaking the kiss. The moment her back touches the wall, she makes a sound between a whine and a groan. A full-body shiver spurs him to kiss the side of her face, her cheek, her neck, mind scrambling to reconcile the breathless sounds with Riley’s mouth.

Bending forward, her body arching to meet his, there’s no more secrets between them and it’s so _good_. It’s good not to think, not to wonder, to just take and receive.

Her pulse is beating so quickly against his lips it makes him dizzy, but it’s her whisper, when she says his name, that draws him back, just so he can look at her.

Her eyes, heavy lidded and impossibly black, won’t leave his face now. Lips curl into a smile with all the answers to the secrets she confessed, and her fingertips press harder on his neck. He complies to her silent demand and leans down, stopping when he can’t go further without going cross-eyed.

“That was a pretty speech,” she smiles, wide and unkept and beautiful, a strand of curly hair stuck to her cheek.

“Didn’t even need the tequila.”

“Maybe it would have sped things up a bit,” she chuckles.

He tightens his grip on her waist, demanding her attention. She gives it willingly now, and isn’t it amazing how she looks up at him like that, lips red and a bit wet, cheeks flushed just enough that he wants to kiss them ?

“I didn’t want to rush it.”

She laughs for real this time, but her foot comes up behind his calf, a small reassurance that she wants him closer, and that she gets it.

“A few years isn’t that long.”

He kisses her again, dumbstruck by how she melts in his arms.

It’s crazy, he thinks as her tongue pries his lips open again and turn this dirty once more, all of this is crazy.

“You wanna rush it now ?” She mutters, a bit muffled by his mouth so he has to focus to understand what she just said. When he does, he chooses to tug at her thighs, to pull them around his hips.

Riley leans back just to take her shirt off, and that’s when his brain truly fucks off.

He has no idea what’s gonna happen next, even with Riley; nothing is written for sure, and their job is so uncertain they can’t even tell if their situation will be the same in a month. But, he thinks as he watches her above him, smile bright on her face despite her shortness of breath, eyes and hair darker than the night, he’s pretty sure they’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed ! It's short, I know, but I just needed to get it out before 5x11 ultimately contradicts what I have in mind, so here goes, to make you wait for next episode !   
> Fingers crossed !


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